so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
not ubering you a puppy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
