I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize