ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is wine microwaveable?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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