What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
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You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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