just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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