Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The beer is more important than you right now.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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