who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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