piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
