oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
