i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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