i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
