so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I didn't notice because vodka
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
