hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
