brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Randomize
