Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You need Xanax blowdarts
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
