I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
