I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize