you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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