You really coming over, don't trick.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am naked and annoyed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
