we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
