Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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