therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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