We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
