this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
