i already hear my dad disowning me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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