pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
