You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize