My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
