Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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