she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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