If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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