Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the condom got lost in my hair
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Thank you for not boning my boss.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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