So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
