im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
