During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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