why didn't you poke me back
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
