If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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