we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
