Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
