Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
