so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
