Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
