also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
