so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
