Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They took my balls.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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