i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Boobs speak an international language.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
