My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize