All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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