Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize