I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
