Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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