It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
