I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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