I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
