Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
