I can text with my tongue
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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