like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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