Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
