my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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