What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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