Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
