her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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