I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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