So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
